5 Signs You’re Owned By A Dog

You may think you own a dog.

That’s sweet.

But if there’s a dog in your house, there’s a very good chance the situation is not quite as equal as you imagine. Dogs have a way of quietly taking over your home, your routine, your sofa and occasionally your entire personality.

Here are five signs you may, in fact, be owned by a dog.

1. You Have A Favourite Seat, But So Do They

Once upon a time, you had a favourite chair.

Now your dog has a favourite chair and you have the small awkward corner of the sofa where no one can get comfortable.

If you’ve ever said, “I’ll just sit over here, I don’t want to disturb them,” congratulations. The takeover is complete.

2. Your Day Is Planned Around Walks

You may have appointments, errands, work, housework and a vague hope of drinking a hot cup of tea.

Your dog has one question.

“But what about my walk?”

Somehow, everything else gets shuffled around so they can sniff the same lamppost they sniffed yesterday, at exactly the correct pace, with absolutely no rushing.

3. You Speak To Them Like They Understand Every Word

And to be fair, they probably understand the important ones.

Walk.

Dinner.

Treat.

Cheese.

But that doesn’t stop us having full conversations with them, including explanations, apologies and the occasional emotional debrief while they stare back with absolutely no intention of contributing.

4. Their Comfort Comes First

Dog bed in the kitchen?

Another one in the living room?

A blanket in the car?

A special towel for muddy paws?

Meanwhile, you’re standing in the rain holding a poo bag and wondering how this became your life.

And yet, you wouldn’t change them for the world.

5. They Have More Nicknames Than Anyone Else In The House

Your dog may have a perfectly nice actual name.

But that is only used at the vet, or when they’re caught doing something suspicious.

The rest of the time they answer to a completely ridiculous collection of names that would make absolutely no sense to anyone outside your household.

And somehow, they know every single one.

So, Are You Owned By A Dog?

If you recognised yourself in any of this, I’m sorry to say the evidence is fairly strong.

You may be the one buying the food, paying the vet bills and opening the door seventeen times a day, but we all know who’s really in charge.

And honestly?

They’re probably doing a very good job of it.

If you know a dog lover who would nod along to all of this, you might also like our Rustic Dog Tea Towel. It’s a lovely little nod to life with dogs, without having to admit quite how much they rule the house.